


I Just Want To Be Alone

by Darkwater37 (Palefire73)



Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: End of a Relationship, F/M, Loki Comfort, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palefire73/pseuds/Darkwater37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can never be alone when youre a Loki writer<br/>Some bad language</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Want To Be Alone

_Oh god, I just want to be alone!_  The girl balled her hands into fists, one each side of her head and closed her eyes.  _I wish everyone would just go away!_ She lowered her hands and got up. "I'm going to bed."

"Aw! Don't go. Stay with us, we're having fun." Her friend grabbed her hand and tried to pull her back down onto the blanket they were sitting on in the garden.

"No! I'm tired. I need some sleep. It's three in the morning...." For a start, the tunes were not helping, they held too many raw memories.

"Gwen, really? Youre usually the one we have to drag in! Come on you need some fun to get over that shithead!" He was referring to her ex, who had gone only three months ago to live with his new girlfriend.

"Sorry folks. I gotta turn in. I have a headache and I've drunk too much. It's gonna hurt like a bastard as it is..." She gave what she hoped was a convincing smile to her friends and turned to leave.

"You sure I can't tempt you with a roll up?" Her sister asked, "It's licorice paper!"

Gwen turned back and smiled again, "Nah - it's bad for your health. Goodnight." She went in the backdoor of the house, climbed the two flights of stairs and opened her bedroom door.

For a moment, her hair almost stood on end as she thought she saw a person stood there in the dark room ,but then she realised it was just a cardigan hanging up.  _Stupid girl._ She crossed the room, stripping off as she went and dropping her clothes over a chair, then went into her bathroom to get ready for bed. Her head was aching. For two days now she had been stewing over a story and it wouldnt progress any. The words would not come, even though she knew what she wanted to say and it was frustrating to say the least. Especially as the previous few chapters had come easy.  _No one told me writers block was like this. My friends have had it, but this sucks._ Brushing her teeth, she looked at her reflection and was quite upset at the huge black circles under her eyes and the spots dotting her chin.  _Fucking acne. I should have grown out of that years ago._ She spat out the white minty froth and wiped her mouth, almost asleep on her feet. As she went to get in bed, she caught sight of a stack of papers she had been sorting through earlier in the day and immediately felt crap.  _Why the fuck didn't I throw those out earlier?_

 

They were old love letters she had sent to her ex and were one of the last things she was getting round to throwing away. Unfortunately, instead of just shredding them, she had started to read them and old memories had surface, which was why she had gone down to the communal back garden and got drunk with her friends. But now she was still drunk and the letters were still here and nothing was any better.

"You fucking bastard!" She yelled at no one and started crying. She kicked at the pile of hand written letters which she had so carefully written and poured her heart into, and they went flying all over the floor. "You bastard!"

Shivering in the cold of the small hours of the morning, she realised what a sight she must look, standing naked in the middle of her room, dishevelled hair, swaying slightly under the effect of the alcohol, tears staining her face and crying in that really ugly way when no one is around to see.  _Thank god Loki can't see me!_ She thought and then laughed bitterly.  _He isnt real you sad idiot. He's just someone you write about. He's just the person you get called names for admiring and hes the fucking idiot who is blocking your head. Along with no sleep. Get your sorry ass into bed!_ Now feeling even worse that she had to tell herself off about this stuff, gwen climbed into bed and pulled the covers right over her head, trying to muffle the sound of everyone still talking in the back garden.  _Get to sleep Gwen. Things will be ok. You don't need him. You don't need Loki and you don't need anyone._

But she did need someone. She was lonely and all she could do was to hug her pillow and try to muffle her crying, making it wet and getting no comfort from it. The room was not helping because it was moving unsteadily in her drunk mind and basically Gwen was at a real low point. She didn't really feel the mattress dip as the weight of someone else joined her, but she went as stiff as a board as an arm curled about her waist, sliding along her bare skin. Her voice stopped in her chest and she grabbed the pillow with an iron grip as someone pulled right up behind her and kissed her bare shoulder. A calm feeling began in her head as the effects of the drink were removed and the room stopped it's nauseating movements, but she still felt panicked. She found her voice.

"Who are you? Dont hurt me, please! Please leave me alone. i just want to be alone."

"Oh, no Gwen. You chose me. When I decide to belong to someone, they are never alone. I will always be here for you."

As Loki's fingers combed the tangles from her hair and his long body cuddled up behind her, Gwen felt her mind relax and the long-needed sleep began to take her. And the god of mischief held her like that for the rest of the night while he started to heal all the damage the male mortal had done to her - the one she thought she had loved and the one she now had to let go. But Loki would be there for her now and he would give her the stories she craved. He would become her muse properly and she would never be alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> For all those out there whose art is an outlet for their headaches, heartaches and life-shit.  
> #LokiLovesYou


End file.
